Ungrateful wretch that I am

I am feeling very humbled right now. I logged on to the computer to check the blogs and saw that Julie had posted something new. I read her blog and then checked out Gracie's blog and read about a family who have a baby with a heart defect. They are taking her off life support today and letting her little body go so that her spirit can return to Heavenly Father and her suffering can finally be over. As I was reading through all their posts, I realized what a giant boob I had been on the days leading up to Chase's birth. I moaned and groaned about still being pregnant, when I hadn't even gone over my due date yet. I did not show the proper gratitude to my Father in Heaven for giving me a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby boy, all I could think about was how miserable I still was and how much I wanted my baby to be born. It was a very selfish moment for me and one of which I am not proud. As I read through the posts on Gracie's blog and saw all the pain that family has had and how humble and grateful they are I held my sweet, healthy baby close and cried for their pain. Then I cried some more when I remembered my impatience and ingratitude and vowed to do better at expressing my love and thanks to my Heavenly Father for my four healthy children and for the chance to repent and do better and be better. I was also incredibly touched by two quotes they had listed and thought I would post them as well.

"It is so hard when sincere prayer about something we desire very much is not answered the way we want. It is especially difficult when the Lord answers no to that which is worthy and would give us great joy and happiness. Whether it be overcoming illness or loneliness, recovery of a wayward child, coping with a handicap, or seeking continuing life for a dear one who is slipping away, it seems so reasonable and so consistent with our happiness to have a favorable answer. It is hard to understand why our exercise of deep and sincere faith from an obedient life does not bring the desired result."No one wants adversity. Trials, disappointments, sadness, and heartache come to us from two basically different sources. Those who transgress the laws of God will always have those challenges. The other reason for adversity is to accomplish the Lord's own purposes in our life that we may receive the refinement that comes from testing. It is vitally important for each of us to identify from which of these two sources come our trials and challenges, for the corrective action is very different."
Richard G. Scott, "Trust in the Lord," Ensign, Nov. 1995,

Lessons Learned From Liberty Jail

I cut out this article a few months ago from the September 8th issue of the Church News. It was a talk that Jeffrey R. Holland gave to the young adults at a Church Educational System Fireside. I love Elder Holland's talks and thought this was a really good one. It was titled "Lessons learned from Liberty Jail" I will obviously not include the whole article but did want to pass on a few main points that he made.

He talked about Joseph Smith's experience in Liberty Jail.

He stated "Everyone of us, in one way or another, great or small, dramatic or incidental, are going to spend a little time in Liberty Jail--spiritually speaking." Blessings that came from Liberty Jail include the revelations received by Joseph Smith that are now Doctrine and Covenants 121-123.

He discussed three lessons from Liberty Jail:

1. The first, he said, "is that everyone, including (and perhaps especially) the righteous, will be called upon to face trying times." Elder Holland said: "Whenever these moments of our extremity come, we must not succumb to the fear that God has abandoned us.....We must continue to believe, continue to have faith, continue to pray and plead with heaven even if we feel for a time our prayers are not heard and that God has somehow gone away. He is there. Our prayers are heard, and when we weep, He and the angels of heaven weep with us.......

"When suffering, we may in fact be nearer to God than we have ever been in our entire lives. That knowledge can turn every such situation into a would-be temple.

2. The second lesson, according to Elder Holland, is that we are not alone in going through trials. "We need to realize that just because difficult things happen--sometimes unfair and seemingly unjustified things--it does not mean that we are unrighteous or that we are unworthy of blessings or that God is disappointed with us," Elder Holland said. "Of course sinfulness does bring suffering and the only answer to that behavior is repentance. But sometimes suffering comes to the righteous, too."

Through the Atonement, the Savior "experienced all of the heartache and sorrow, all of the disappointments and injustices that the entire family of man has experienced from Adam and Eve to the end of the world in order that we would not have to face them so severely or so deeply," Elder Holland said.

3. The third lesson of Liberty Jail, he said, is that in times of difficult feelings, "the Lord reminds us from the Liberty Jail prison-temple that 'the rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only (or "except") upon the principles of righteousness." (D&C 121:36)

We learn from the Savior and His prophets, Elder Holland said, "that the real test of our faith and our Christian discipleship is when things are not going smoothly. That is when we get to see what we are made of and how strong our commitment to the gospel really is."

Counseling further, Elder Holland referred to D&C 123:17, written during cold, lonely hours in jail, and then stated, "Joseph says, let us do all we can do and do it cheerfully. Then we can justifiably turn to the Lord, wait upon His mercy, and see His arm revealed in our behalf. What a magnificent attitude to maintain in good times or bad, in sorrow or joy."

After leaving a blessing on the congregation, Elder Holland concluded saying, "I testify that bad days come to an end, that faith always triumphs and that heavenly promises are always kept."